What's REALLY going on?
Very early on, just after I started offering outdoor sessions, I coached a client who wanted to work online only, to come up with a plan what came next for her and her business.
So, let’s get this out of the way first. I’m going to call her Kate. Kate’s not her real name as the really personal journeys need to be kept anonymous (and to be clear, that’s not Kate in the photo - it’s a picture of Claire!)
Kate was in a good place having smashed the goals she set herself for the year, and she had reached out to run through some ideas of what came next and come up with a plan to get there.
We started to flesh out some of the ideas, test a few directions, and came up with some - what I thought were solid - first steps.
She didn't seem too enthusiastic to be honest and it turned into a bit of a dance over the next few sessions where we'd come up with really obvious things she could do to start building the next part of her business, and she would either create blockers as to why they wouldn't work, or she'd take the actions away and then do nothing.
This back and forth went on for three sessions, and it felt like we’d just wasted a lot of time getting nowhere.
After the third session I knew something had to be done, and suggested a literal 'clear the air' session where we'd do a walk and talk instead.
I sold it as an opportunity to try something different, but I sensed there was something deeper at play here, and was hoping some more time and space would allow us to get to the bottom of what was really happening.
We met on a cool autumn morning, the sun was out and the air was still and crisp. It was great to finally meet Kate in person and straight away I could see the energy was different. I could sense an openness that I hadn’t seen before, and the initial conversation jumped about quite freely - a stream of consciousness - from what we had planned for the weekend, to some of the issues with difficult clients, to favourite walks, to her website rebrand.
As we walked and talked, I picked up on the threads about the longer term plan, and we started with the 'dance' again, with her opening up ideas, me inviting her to explore them and then her shutting them down again.
But then after a while I noticed it had fallen silent, and she'd started to walk a little slower.
And then - unprompted - Kate asked what I thought of her business, and where to take it. And I let the 'coach mask' slip.
I was honest - she'd created something hugely successful, smashed all her targets, and her words told me she wanted to grow it, but everything else told me she was holding back and her heart didn't seem in it.
So then I landed the question... "What's REALLY going on?"
And it all came out - Kate hated what she was building, it didn't feel like her, it was draining her, keeping her from seeing her family, and she was really starting to resent it all.
We'd wasted a lot of time trying to solve the wrong problem up to that point, but in the light of what she had just said, we finally had something we could work with.
I learned an important lesson that day:
Most people don't need better answers - they need enough space to identify the REAL question.
When we first work with people, our first step is always a Beacon Session - an outdoor walk and talk which gives you a roadmap for the next chapter.
But it's much more than that.
What we're actually doing is:
1. Giving you space to empty your mind
2. Asking what's REALLY going on
3. Creating a plan for what to do about it
Because if we don't understand what's REALLY going on, we're just going to waste your time.
Most people dont need better answers - they need enough space to identify the REAL question.
